“If I am being completely honest, the thought of going 24 hours without texting my crush fills me with something resembling nausea," shares Meena G., 16. "Meanwhile, my BFF can go nearly a week without FaceTiming her bae. How is that even possible?"
Ah yes, the sweet mystery (or stomach-turning terror) of what's the right way to act around someone you really, really like. Turns out the answer to the eternal "how do I communicate with my crush?" conundrum may lie in attachment theory, TikTok's latest relationship conversation.
It boils down to one idea. "Attachment styles are patterns of behavior developed in childhood [through interactions with your family, genetics and temperament] that show up later in relationships," says social worker Ann Robinson.
But knowing your attachment style isn't the same as discovering you're a Capricorn or a Ravenclaw: Attachment falls on a spectrum. And unlike your star sign, you can work with your style to tweak it so you can have happier and healthier bonds (and who doesn't want that?).
YOUR (ATTACHMENT) STYLE GUIDE
First, let's break down the lingo. Attachment styles fall into two main categories: secure and insecure.
"Secure attachment styles are characterized by a sense of trust and comfort in relationships, while insecure attachment styles experience more anxiety and fear of rejection," Robinson explains.
Can you picture a connection that makes you feel completely comfortable? Maybe it's with your BFF or your big sister. You can text nonstop...or take a few days apart without stressing. You can be honest about how you feel...and know they're going to do the same in return. And when it comes to tough topics? You see eye-to-eye...or can agree to disagree.
This story is from the August/September 2023 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the August/September 2023 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Why aren't you and your crush together already
Six reasons you aren't dating for real... yet.
A love letter to myself (and all the single girls out there)
This year, I’m my own Valentine. And not only is that OK—it’s kind of amazing, tbh.
WELCOME TO YOUR winter workout WONDERLAND
DON'T LET THE COLD TEMPS FOOL YOU-WE'RE OFFICIALLY ENTERING PEAK FITNESS SZN.
Low-key missing lockdown
Yeah, staying home was weird, but it also was kind of...nice?
Dear Carol
I don’t know if my crush likes me back
THE PRETTIEST PARTS
Changing the way you wear your hair is quick, easy and doesn't even require a major makeover (or a single scissor snip!).
Lucky Girl Syndrome
just became your thing
WHAT'S YOUR GALENTINE'S SUPERPOWER?
We’re 1,000% sure your besties would agree: You’re caring, supportive and pretty much all-around amazing to have as a friend.
Meet You at The Ballet Barre
Pull on your tights and channel your inner prima ballerina.
KyliE Cantrall is just trusting the universe
...and it's giving some serious heart eyes (and star power) right back.